Monday, December 05, 2005

"Disasters" and Other "Fun" Occurances At Weddings

I'm often asked what weird things I have witnessed occuring at weddings.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to know that, but I suppose it's because people are nervous that something similar might happen at their wedding! Well, I can honestly say that none of my weddings go off without a hitch! (I hope you got that pun...)

Here's a partial list of things that have occured that I have witnessed. Not all are spectacular, but it may cause you to double check on things to make sure it doesn't happen to you:

1. Hairdresser messes up and causes the bride to re-do her hair herself. It also makes her late for the pre-ceremony photos.

2. Limo shows up... but at the wrong site.

3. Bride begs relatives not to "fight" at her wedding (literally.)

4. Bridesmaids faint from heat exhaustion (very common.)

5. Best man delivers "x-rated" jokes during his toast to the bride and groom. Gets boo'ed by the guests because of these jokes, but doesn't know enough to stop telling them. Continues on for several more agonizing minutes with each joke receiving more boos.

6. Florist shows up late to set up flowers for the wedding which causes all the pre-wedding photos to be shot without the flowers. (Note: This happens at almost all weddings. It might be best to stretch the truth a little and tell the florist that the wedding is to start an hour sooner than it really is scheduled to start... just to get the flowers there on time.)

7. Everyone shows up early to the church to get photos taken... only to find it locked and nobody has the key.

8. Flowergirl or Ringbearer throws a tantrum and decides in the middle of walking down the aisle to start crying and run back up the aisle.

9. Ringbearer trips on his way to the alter and puts a huge rip into the runner... so he stops and tries to fix it before moving on. Makes it worse...

10. Groomsmen write "Help Me" on the soles of the Groom's shoes so that when he kneels at the alter, it's visible for all to see.

11. Groom goes under the brides dress to retreive the garter but comes up with a pair of panties instead... to the shock of the bride and everyone in the room.

12. Groom goes under the bride's dress to retrieve the garter only to find that the bride is wearing a pair of men's boxer shorts. She then flashes the whole room by lifting her dress to reveal the shorts... much to the dismay of the groom.

13. Cake is smashed into the bride's face or groom's face. The receipient of this act is not amused.

14. Limo driver opens the champagne bottle in the limo and the cork pops the groom in the eye. Luckily, it just misses the eye but hits him closer to his eye socket instead.

15. Best man forgets the brides name during the toast.

16. Best man toasts the bride and groom but confuses the groom's old girlfriend's name with the bride's name.

17. DJ accidentally pulls the chair out from under the bride as she prepares to sit down to have her garter removed. Bride ends up on the floor.

18. Two flowergirls are at the wedding. The first one goes down the aisle and tosses flower pedals onto the runner and makes it all the way down the aisle. The next flower girl starts down the aisle and decides instead of tossing her flower pedals onto the runner, it's better to pick up all the flower pedals that the first flowergirl has tossed. Amazingly, she makes it all the way down the aisle and now the runner has no flower pedals for the bride to walk through... much to the delight of the guests who are now laughing like crazy.

19. Pastor asks the bestman for the ring but he's forgotten to bring it. He substitutes his own wedding ring for the bride to use.

20. Flowers are the wrong color and the bride starts to cry. Photographer takes her aside and tells her to "grow up" and to stop crying... explaining that only she knows the flowers are wrong and that crying will only upset the rest of the guests. The shock of hearing the photographer tell her to "grow up" snaps her back into reality and she composes herself (with a five minute -"time out"). The rest of the wedding goes smoothly and the bride later thanks the photographer for saving her wedding day.

Of course I was the photographer in number 20! :)

Sometimes a photographer has to take over to get things back on track.

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