Will You Hold My Date Open? - An explanation for photographers and bridal couples

Before you read the following, please know that this is not a rant on my part. It's just basic education for both photographers and bridal couples since many people check my blog for this kind of advice. You most likely won't see something like this on other photographers blogs as it's considered "not good business." But I'm a 19 year veteran of weddings. People expect me to be good at what I do and to be honest about all aspects of wedding photography. I hope you will read this in that light.


On occasion, photographers will have a request from a potential client they've met asking if the photographer will hold their date open while they go off to think about whether to book him/her. Or sometimes, the photographer will get that same request while the bridal couple takes their time to check out other photographers.

For me, my answer has always been, "The first person who signs a contract with me and secures the date with the required retainer, gets me for that date." This is the policy of many other professional photographers as well.

Sometimes the photographer may get an upset bride who will say, "That's not fair. We talked to you first and yet you booked someone else after us." Think about that...

What is really being said is this... "Hey, we don't want to commit to you. But we'd like for you to commit to us. While we are thinking about it, can you put your business on hold? Should someone want our date, can you call and let us know and give us first crack at it? We may not be able to come in right away when you call, but hold that date for us. Don't meet with the other person because we just might want to book you." Then, perhaps a week later (way after the fact that the other bride has gone off to find someone else who is definitely available on her wedding date) the first couple calls or emails back, "We've decided to go with someone else. Thanks."

Where does this leave the photographer? Well, basically the photographer is out of luck... from both parties who were considering that date.

Sounds fair, right?

This hasn't happened to me in a long time. Probably because I won't let it. But I recently read a thread on one of the photography forums I frequent about this very thing. I can't help but wonder why it's ok for the photographer to take the chance of losing business for someone who can't make up their mind or wants to just prolong committing to him. How is that right?

My advice to all brides has always been, "If you find someone you like to photograph your wedding, book him on the spot." I tell that to everyone. Now that may mean they won't book me but will book someone else instead. That's ok. I'd rather they work with someone they feel most comfortable with... and that could be because of price issues or because of personality issues. Or perhaps it's style issues. Whatever. But to ask someone to hold a date without a commitment so you can think about it is just not right.

On the other hand, many couples can't make a decision on the spot and that's ok too. If they need time to think about it, or to check out other photographers, that's ok. Just don't ask if the photographer will hold your date for you. That's the part that's not right. And don't assume that because you were first to meet with the photographer, that the date will be automatically held until you make up your mind. That's not right either.

Luckily for me, nobody has said this to me in a long, long time. But you know what my response will be if it is asked. The answer is "NO." But I do hope you'll come back anyway and can understand my position on this issue.

Harsh? Perhaps, if you don't understand why it has to be that way. All photographers who are doing this for a living are running a business for their livelihoods. Where you would not want to mess up your own livelihood, please don't ask to mess up the photographer's.

That's my two cents.